More

A summer of indifference. Of experimentation. Of struggling. Of freedom.

From what?

I'd hit the ceiling. I think I've said it before. As Mr. Ben Kweller says,

"There's nothing more here, I hit the ceiling."

I gotta move, he continues. I, indeed, have to move out of this place. Out of this town, out of this comfort.

But it was also time that I moved away from ideas that I had come to rely on. I needed to make things my own, not just what I had been told by everyone else. I'm so sick of society--meaning my nation, school, friends, family, and the media--telling me what to think. They don't force it upon me (at least most don't), but the effect is the same. It was all useless.

It all fell apart. Shells do not last very long when there's nothing inside. It might look pretty on the outside, but that won't stand up to a foot running through the sand. There's got to be some meat left in the molusk to withstand anything at all.

"I am a whore, I do confess, I put you on just like a wedding dress and I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle,"

Derek Webb articulates in "Wedding Dress."

Perhaps there is nothing that is real. It could only be strawberry fields. But perhaps there is something that means so much more than this gimmicky wedding. There's a meaning to the ceremony besides looking pretty.

There's a husband who has given his life as a wedding gift. He doesn't care if you slip out a word like "bastard" in appropriate situations (as does Derek Webb in the previously mentioned song). He doesn't care if you take a drink at a friend's house. He cares only that you love. Always love. Even a band that can't play a 45 minute set without about ten bottles of beer and a few shots (Nada Surf (of course I love them all the same)) knows to always love.

There's something behind the ceremony. There's so much more.

LB

Instead of blockquoting every individual stance of this song (now on play count 5 in that many minutes), here it is:

Derek Webb - "Wedding Dress"
If you could love me as a wife
And for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I’d ever need?
Or is there more I’m looking for

And should I read between the lines
And look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want?

[Chorus]
‘Cause I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
And I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
But I put you on just like a ring of gold
And I run down the aisle
I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child?
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side
‘Cause I am so easily satisfied
By the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

[Chorus x2]

Because money cannot buy
A husband’s jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

[Chorus x2]