Happy Birthday To Me (June 23)

59 more minutes to celebrate my birthday. I think I was ready for it to be over about 13 hours ago. Today was honestly the worst day of the last week between a very hectic day at work and everything else going on. I swear sometimes I"m the only one willing to work at work, as ironic as that seems. I guess I just expected some other people to begin to step up to the plate at least today. Too much to ask.

"All eyes on the calendar, another year I claim of total indifference." I've been listening to this song, "Happy Birthday To Me (Feb. 15)," by Bright Eyes at least three times a day for the last three weeks or so I'm quite sure. It's an extremely depressing song about Conor Oberst celebrating his birthday (his 16th birthday or something ridiculous like that because he's a freaking genius) and sounding so depressed he's about to kill himself. Well, beyond that he's thinking about all the people that pass in and out of our lives that used to mean a lot to us but don't anymore.

I can relate to this way more than I'd like to. Sometimes I have a hard time relating to Bright Eyes' songs about drugs and super-artsy genius, but I get this one. Friends from Roseburg have passed out of my life for the very large part. They're a part of the past that will never come back. But then friends from school seem to disappear in the summer. Definitely physically, but it's also just kind of crazy to think that we're such good friends during the school year, but in the summer we all go our separate ways. Many hang out with friends at home just like they never left.

This is looking to be an extremely depressing blog that will not come out right. I'm exhausted and have to be at work in 6 1/2 hours. I give up.

LB

Listening to: duh...see above (on repeat of course. I have two different versions of this song which makes things more exciting)

Reading: La Travesia del Viajero del Alba (The Voyage of the Dawn Traveler (Narnia)) and also The Prince and the Pauper (I know, aren't I studious?)